Enter the Church Times Caption Contest and read the latest winner and top entries


Enter our next caption contest (to the right) and win a Fairtrade chocolate prize!

Send applications by email only to [email protected] by 9:00 a.m. on Thursday 23 December.

Here is the winning entry from last week:

They heard “Fore, all the saints” and dove for cover (Valérie Budd)

ALMOST inevitable confusion this week, with every cleric’s favorite hot drink:

  • No more t-shirts, Vicar? (John Radford)
  • The vicar misunderstood that he was asked to take the tee (Chris Coupé)
  • In her new upscale parish, the vicar obviously misunderstood the invitation to tea after mornings. (David Hill)
  • Vicar waits ‘Tee’ (Aaron Milne)
  • There didn’t seem to be many takers for the vicar’s feast (Derek Wellman)
  • When her reverend saw the “Reserved Tee” sign, she started looking for her mug. (Christine Robinson)
  • Despite the effort that the vicar put in his sermon on the mountain speech, the churchwardens have always disappeared for the tee (Paul MacDermott)
  • The departure time always seemed far away (Rob Falconer)
  • Where is everyone? I’m sure they said we had to attend tea after the evening song (Nick Baker)
  • Where’s my cup of tea? (Fiona Drinkell)
  • Now . . . they said something about the tea that was reserved here for the new vicar. . . Hmmm! (John Rolley)
  • Well, it’s a ball; where’s the tea? (Paulette Yallop)
  • It wasn’t what Mary expected when she heard the offer, “Tea, vicar? (Sue Chick)
  • She wished the invitation to the WI tea event was written down rather than over the phone. (Hazel Rea).

It is commendable to hear about the work-life balance of bishops, but did any of them take it a step further?

  • The chaplain was tasked with watching over the bishop on his days off and collecting stray bullets. (Richard Hough)
  • Now I know why being a bishop’s chaplain sometimes feels like being a golf caddy (Ian Barge).

Maybe it’s time for a new expression of golf:

  • Vicar begins new birdwatching outreach ministry (Mark Green)
  • After being blinded by the sun and bewildered by the cries of “Fore! Sarah decided to cross the fairway to the 19th tee to convey her Advent message to club members. (Daphne Foster)
  • The vicar was confirmed in her opinion that an outdoor service on a golf course was bunkers (Brian Stevenson)
  • Jane’s version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” really appealed to the golf fraternity on their Christmas service. (Vicky Deasley).

A few other entrees that we enjoyed:

  • . . . and I always expect a nice loud response after each command, from those already on the 19th! (David Hanford)
  • It’s amazing how many times the clergy are absent for a course! (John Saxbee)
  • Before ! The Advent hymns began with the number 36 wide in the rough. The numbers 41, 39 and 30 made the fairway, as did Psalm 82. That makes five balls; so no need for approval (Geoffrey House)
  • The minister could see a fairway to the sky (Marc Parry)
  • Has anyone seen my mower? (Louise Comb)
  • Being heard from the back was a regular Sunday problem, but 430 yards (par 5) was beyond a joke! (John Appleby)
  • The vicar didn’t mind agreeing to preach from the eagle, but she wanted them to hurry and score a (Philippe Lickley)
  • Don’t worry, everyone. The shepherds are on their way (Susan Patel)
  • Oh dear! Golf balls do not work on water (Linda Casting)
  • . . . and do not drag us into frustration; but deliver us an Eagle. . . (Julian Ashton)
  • It was a remarkably smart shot to have hit both the Bishop and the Archdeacon (Patrick Irwin)
  • Here he comes in a cloud with power and glory (Arthur Hawes)
  • Those of you sitting in the back, please come on. There is plenty of room in the front seats (Charlie Seligman)
  • The club’s new “dress code” was not universally popular, as it turned out to be a handicap (Hugh Wikner)
  • After blessing the parish’s new golf course, the vicar scored three miraculous holes in one after completing the first practice from the first tee; but would the secretary approve? (Mervyn Cox)
  • She took a good look around before deciding to risk a five-ball game. (Alison Woods)
  • Yes! A sacred in one! (Amy Hustwitt)
  • Bishops against Clergy and Laity! A far-sighted arrangement (Paul Brett)
  • The distant scene, I do not ask to see it; one hole is enough for me (Don Manley)
  • Lo, the groom is coming (Christophe Ward)
  • Oh, my dear, this drive has landed in the rough. Even divine inspiration will not find this one (Richard Spray)
  • After blessing the balls, the vicar had to try to determine how many were actually allowed to be used. (Geoffrey Robinson)
  • I knew it! The congregation is still in the clubhouse (Lynda Sebbage)
  • She hoped there wouldn’t be a third golf war (Michael Doe)
  • Wesley’s phrase “The common trick, the trivial task” got them going (David Billin)
  • The vicar finally discovered where all her parishioners were going on a Sunday morning (Lesley Cope).

As always, the winner receives a Fairtrade chocolate prize, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com

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